


Small Gifts

by lividcolors



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fluff, I suck at tags, Like super fluff, M/M, anyway enjoy the fluff, its actually only fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-10
Updated: 2016-09-10
Packaged: 2018-08-14 03:38:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7997209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lividcolors/pseuds/lividcolors
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes it's easy for Dean to forget that Cas is not actually a human.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Small Gifts

Cas’s head is on Dean’s shoulder, and Dean just can’t let it go.

It’s okay for them now, okay to touch, to take these small comforts. It’s okay for Cas to rest his head on Dean’s shoulder, or to take Dean’s hand, or to even give him a kiss on the forehead. They can do this now, whenever they want, and Dean just can’t let it go.

Cas, _his_ Cas, is also Castiel, angel of the lord. He is Castiel, who is so bright that he would burn Dean’s eyes out. He is Castiel, who could sing songs never meant for the ears of a human, songs that could damage, screams that could break. He is Castiel, who is larger than a Chrysler building, who has fought in so many wars, who has commanded so many armies.

Castiel is something so large and so very unimaginable. Dean doesn’t even know what he looks like, not really. Dean sees Cas, sees his vessel, his body, and for him, that is enough. But that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t wonder, that he doesn’t _wish_ . He wants to see Cas as he is to other angels, as he looks purely on his own. He wants to see Castiel, wings and tails and maybe multiple heads (maybe he’s done some research, but no one else needs to know that). He wants to see Castiel, brighter than any star, larger and more fearsome than any creature on Earth. He wants to see Castiel as he is _truly_.

But, the sad fact of the matter is that he can’t, at least not right now. Castiel is so great and so very unknowable, and Dean thinks that Castiel may be unknowable to him for a long time. If Dean were to see him, it would probably burn his eyes right out of their sockets. If Dean were to hear Castiel’s true voice, it would be painful and damaging. It is so easy for Dean to forget sometimes, that Cas is not actually a human.

It is easy to forget, when Cas, for all intent purposes, _is_ human.

Dean thinks about it sometimes, about how Cas always stood apart from the other angels. Cas, right from the start, seemed more like a _person_ than the hard soldiers he had come to see angels as.

Cas gets grumpy, especially in mornings. He drinks coffee and has begun collecting plants in his room. He goes out on walks all the time, sometimes dragging Dean with him (not that Dean actually puts up much of a fight), and he always stops to pet any animals he can.

Cas hates being woken in the mornings (he doesn’t need to sleep but does it anyway), and only ever gets up without complaint if Dean wakes him up with kisses and coffee. Dean has found that Cas loves holding his hand, loves leaning on him and just _touching_ him every moment he can. Cas, apparently, is all about the small touches of affection, and Dean has absolutely  _no_ problems with that.

It is this, the easy touches between them, that Dean just can’t let go of. It is the fact that Cas is an angel, something amazingly terrifying and crazy, but also so very human, so sweet and gentle to touch. It is the soft breaths they share, the looks, the comforts. It is the fact that Cas can fall asleep with his head on Dean’s shoulder while they watch some nature documentary (Cas loves them and so Dean tolerates them), that this is okay. It is the fact that such an ancient, incomprehensible being can look at Dean and _love_ him as he knows Cas does.

On his shoulder, Cas snores slightly and mumbles into Dean’s neck. Dean can’t help the smile that comes to his lips, nor the kiss he leaves on Cas’s forehead, like a seal, a blessing.

He will _never_ let this go.

**Author's Note:**

> Come and find me at my [tumblr](http://lividcolors.tumblr.com/). Please leave comments and kudos!


End file.
